Here are 4 Pillars of a Successful and Happy Marriage

Love doesn't exist anymore.

We don't see many people who have a happy marriage. They thought that they would find happiness once they married. However, their marriage was fraught with sadness, despair, frustration, and depression. If I may say so, about 65% world news is actually marriage news. If they have to be in all media, there will not be any news other than news about marriage. It's why they don’t include them all. We are more interested than ever in politics, sport, government and health.

The truth is that 9 out 10 marriages are in serious financial trouble. We see divorces increasing each day because of this.

So my question is, "Is marriage happiness?" Think about this carefully. Take the time to think it through. Consider it as a part of your marriage journey. Are you happy or sad?

Do I have to rely on you?

I can tell you that marriage is not happiness if it is said so. It's also wrong to say it's sadness. The correct answer to this question is "

Marriage is hard work.

Marriage is neither happy nor sad. Marriage is a process that creates happiness. If you want your marriage to work, you will need more than just love .

If two people decide to get married and then say that they will be happy once they have had children, it is a mistake. They aren't ready to get married. They should be aware that marriage is about obligations and responsibilities.

Marriage is all about giving, not taking.

It's all about sharing. The same goes for marriage. Couples often say that "He doesn’t like me anymore" or “He doesn’t get me” or "She has changed so much". It is selfish. Do you know why? Because this person doesn’t know that marriage is all about giving. Many women are always curious why we don’t consider him a star after we get married or why he’s not as romantic as we were when we were together.

Marriage is a new adventure. For marriage to last as long "till death do we part", there are rules. You should stop asking your spouse what you should do and ask yourself what your spouse can do to you so that you have what you want in your marriage.

There are many books that discuss happy marriages. They also talk about how to make your partner more passionate and how to make them love you.

However, all of these books fail to address the fundamental problem in marriage. The root cause of the problem is not often discussed. They are essentially tips and tricks. I won't discuss tips and tricks that will help you have a happy, successful marriage. I'm sure you know much more than I do. Let's just get to the heart of marriage. What are the essential elements of a happy, successful marriage?

You are more than just a lover.

The basis of marriage is " conscience". How often have we heard this word? It is often said that we love, care or take care of someone, but this word is different.

I'm sure you know the meaning of this word. This is because the manifestation of conscience is one of the four pillars that I will discuss.

Pillar # 1: Affection

While affection is one form, it is not the only type of love. The selfish love we know is the love we are capable of feeling is affection. Affection is genuine, true love. Many people will say, "He doesn’t like me anymore" or "Does he love me anymore?" Oder worse, "Why can't I love you more than me?"

Selfish love is expecting your spouse to do something. Your spouse and your family are not the priority. You are always the center.

True love is the act of giving. You must put in some effort in building a strong marriage. You have to be willing to sacrifice. To love your spouse, you must make sure that he or she is happy. Expecting your spouse's happiness is not enough. Your spouse must serve you. This is a lot, I know. Too much for being married. Yes. It is not about a high school boy falling for a girl. It's more than that matrimonial sites.

Your spouse and you need to support each other. Affection, or as I like to call it "true Love", means that you make sacrifices for your spouse and give priority to them.

Pillar # 2: Respect

Respect is the truth. If we treat others with respect, then others will treat us well. This universal truth is true. It's not possible for everyone to do this, particularly in marriage. Why should we respect our partner so much? This is because no couple can be perfect. Every couple has their differences. No two families are alike. If we can respect one another, even if our opinions, thoughts and thinking styles are different, it won't be a problem.

I won't go into detail about respect. This is just one topic. But I think you get my point. It doesn't matter what course you take on self development, if you don't respect other people. Many courses teach us how communicate with others. You can't expect to communicate well with your spouse if they don't respect you. That's impossible. The ability to respect others comes from childhood. Respect is something that parents must instill in their children as soon as possible.

Let me give you five reasons why we should love our spouse.

1. Equally noble

In God's eyes we are one.

2. Our spouse IS NOT our servant.

3. Our spouse is the mother/father of our children.

This is why it is so important to respect your spouse. You will never treat your spouse in an unfavorable way if you realize this.

4. Our spouse will no longer be our partner.

We are human. We will all die one day. Make the most of each moment and respect one another. Take time to cherish every moment.

5. Our spouse is the Son of God.

If we do nothing to respect each other, we will not be able to respect God. Because we all are sons and daughters of God.

Pillar # 3: Forgiveness

Forgiveness is essential. Why? Because each family is different. There will be times when there is misunderstanding, disagreement or dispute. Many times, marriages are on the brink or in danger of ending because we cannot forgive one another. For one error, divorce is the only choice.

Cheating on your spouse is one of the most common examples in marital life. If your husband cheats on your wife, do you think you can forgive them? This is a difficult question. It's a tough question, right? You have to take a look at yourself and see what is wrong. We must not blame our partner for what is happening, as that would be the normal behavior. Are we able to forgive our spouse, if he/she cheats on us?

Please take the time to examine this situation. The power to forgive is what we ask God. This is how it works. We always ask God to forgive us. We can ask God to forgive us if we do this. Why shouldn't we also forgive our spouse? My view is that there are no mistakes we don't deserve to be forgave. You and your family will enjoy a whole new life if you can forgive. You will eventually get over your hurt feelings toward your spouse. If your spouse asks you for forgiveness, and promises you something or swears to you, then you should be able to forgive them. Forgiving your spouse will make him or her repent and never repeat that mistake.

Pillar #4: Gratitude

For a happy marriage to be successful, it is important to show gratitude. It is important to express gratitude to our spouse for the things he or she did for us that have made our lives better. In marriage, often the husband is so arrogant that even when his wife makes a great meal, he keeps quiet. His wife never gets a compliment from him. You can say, "Hmm.. today’s meal is so tasty. Thank you. How did you make it look so good? This would make your spouse feel like a queen. Do you agree?

Our husbands and wives deserve our gratitude. Sometimes saying 'thanks' doesn't have to be a formality. It is enough to smile at your spouse or say 'thanks'.