Here Are 3 Tips For A Happy Marriage

All of us reach adulthood with certain beliefs about marriage. Many of us have witnessed happy marriages. Some have been blessed with happy marriages, while others are not so fortunate. Even if marital role models haven’t been healthy and happy marriages, we don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage matrimony.

Marriages can be hard, and sometimes even challenging. It's not possible to have a "Leave the matter to Beaver" or "Father knows better" marriage. Those were marriages that existed in a different era, if any. The marriage of today has many more moving parts that the relationships of the 40s-50s and 60s. These examples are not the real story of simpler times, so it would be unfair for our marriage to view them as such.

In today's world, marriages can be pulled apart by many things. You can have separate careers, blended families and different child rearing methods, as well as financial problems. These issues can all cause marital discord. In the current culture, it can seem difficult to have a happy marriage. To have a lasting, happy marriage, both spouses have to be committed to each other. I am not a counselor for marriage. These are my three tips based on more than 30 years of marriage with the same amazing man.

1. It is important to make our partner in marriage the first priority in all of our lives. It's easy to forget this tip and not pay attention to our children or our careers. Many families are mixed. Some parents feel that they have to put their children from the previous marriage at the top. This could be due to guilt or shame over their previous marriage failure. You may feel disconnected from your spouse. It doesn't matter what the reason, it is a recipe that will lead to another failed marriage. Our marriage should be like the sun in our family’s solar system. The children orbit around the sun. Our children will eventually leave our solar system for their own if we're successful parents.

We have often said in our wedding vows that we will love one another and not forsake anyone else. This could mean that there are other people who may want to attract us away from our spouse, or have an affair. This could be a temptation to remain too close to other people, like parents, siblings or friends, careers, and any other things that might compromise our partner's top spot in our lives. My husband and I know someone who is close to his family. She likes to travel and spend time with them, even if it means he's not able to participate in the plans. Their marriage is extremely rocky at the moment. This will likely continue until they decide to make their marriage the #1 priority of their lives.

2. Treat our spouses as we would wish to be treated. The golden rule! It was my experience that I needed to show more love to my spouse if I wanted them to be more loving. I had to first be more loving if I wanted my partner less argumentative. This was a huge breakthrough in our marriage. Amazing things happened when I began to treat him as I would like to be treated. It could have been because I was the first to change.

3. Communication can be the difference between a happy marriage and a broken one. Communication patterns are something that we all establish early in our marriages. We have the freedom to choose what communication pattern we want. My husband is not only my partner, but my best friend. We communicate often throughout the day. We don't communicate only about current events or our children. They are conversations about our feelings about what is happening in the world. Many people are unable to communicate beyond their children. It can be dangerous for a marriage if the children have left the nest.